Why I Really Cut My Hair

Hair. It’s amazing how something so normal can make up such a large portion of who we are. How it can shift our personality and make us act differently. Finding the right style is like finding yourself. Until you find the perfect one, you’re playing a character.

I’ve experimented with different colors and styles in the last year alone. I was bored and wanted to try new things. It was during my gap year after I finished high school, so I had a lot of time on my hands. I went through multiple shades of red, back to brown, to jet-black, to auburn then platinum blonde for the first time.

Being blonde was an ugly attack on my self-esteem. It was impossible to brush and kept going brassy. There were times were I felt like crying because it looked horrible and hurt every time I attempted to comb it. I splurged on expensive products made especially for blonde hair to keep it healthy, shiny and silvery. It was dyed for a film project that meant a lot to me, so I bit the bullet and dealt with the massive change. I felt like It didn’t suit me and it really affected the way I was acting. Even though I received more attention from males than ever, I didn’t feel confident in my own skin. I didn’t feel like Lyndsey.

So after I found out the film project had reached its peak, I didn’t have a second thought. There was no point dying it an artificial brown color and still have it feel like dead straw draping over my shoulders. I wasn’t into the crazy bold colors of the rainbow. I decided I was going to chop it all off.

My friends advised me not too, mainly because it would be a massive shock to them and would struggle getting use to it. I’ve had long hair most of my life, but I needed a change; and not just any change, a positive attitude adjustment that would help me shape my life.

“Are you ready?” The hairdresser asked as I sat in the chair, staring at myself in the mirror with my long golden locks.

“Do it.” I said. And with that, she took the scissors, grabbed my hair and unevenly chopped it and threw the remains on the ground. It now sat at my shoulders, a look I hadn’t seen in a decade. She waited for tears or a scream; maybe she’d experienced this before. Where some crazy teenager wanted a cut to liberate herself then regretted it five seconds afterwards.

“Are you okay?” She asked, looking at my face with concern. I simply smiled up at her and shrugged my shoulders.

“Its just hair. Shorter please.”

And that brings me to the hair I have today. Shortest I’ve ever had it, back to my natural dark brown, healthy and radiant. Using less shampoo and conditioner, not having to brush it so often, getting dressed easier, kissing my boyfriend without hair falling in his face. There are so many advantages to having short hair and I absolutely love it!

Physically it’s a big change, but so was my blonde hair. I’ve embraced the beauty of short hair and the pros that come with it. There’s something liberating about the process of cutting long hair super short.

But the main change is feeling like me again. Cutting my hair after all the crap I did to it a year earlier, symbolized a fresh start for me; a new beginning. All my worries, issues, problems and negative thoughts were chopped off and thrown in the bin. My hair is short enough that baggage can’t attach itself to me. It no longer holds me back and makes me feel ugly.

I’ve never felt more beautiful. I feel more connected to who I am as a person. I’m not worried about how my hair looks anymore because it sits out of the way naturally. I’m more focused on my character development and just doing things. As I grow mentally, spiritually and emotionally; my hair grows with me.

It’s also funny to see the cocky neighbors across the street that used to wolf whistle and hit on me whilst I was blonde, stare at me weirdly with short hair.

Whether people like it or not, is the least of my worries. I’m proud of myself for being brave and taking a leap of faith to trust my instincts and change for the better.

Peace and love. 

Lyndsey Fay